They’re not judging you

They don’t even know you.

They’re judging their idea of you, the glimpses they’ve had, and they’re only glimpses!

A conversation at a party.

Photo Credit: Jessica Da Rosa on Unsplash

A picture you posted on Instagram.

What Leah said about you at Julie’s wedding.

They take these glimpses and filter them through their own experiences–their genetics, their upbringing, their life to date–and ALL the predispositions these experiences have gifted or cursed them with.

We have to separate the judgment from our worthiness. They are judging a perspective we’ve shared, a pattern we’ve shown.

It’s not about you

Even a logically valid judgment of one specific thing is not a judgment on the totality of who you are. The person you are in the shower. The person you are when a nostalgic song comes on. The person you are when your heart breaks. The person you are when your friend calls.

They cannot know and judge all of these. They can only judge the image they’ve constructed of you. So don’t waste your energy protecting the image.
Instead, use your energy to give the real you what you’re needing.

Photo Credits: Joyful on Unsplash

Really, it’s about them

We’re all mirrors to each other. We’re rarely critical in an area where we feel secure and confident…It likely bothers them because they see some part of themselves that they can’t stand. Or if they are secure, then you can trust that the criticism comes with complete generosity and curiosity.

So you can assume insecurity on their part or complete generosity on their part – either one of them is not about you.

And it’s also about you

You can accept all of the above and still be hurting.

So let’s take care of you.

Ask yourself:

  • What am I needing from them?
  • Can I give that to myself?