Worth knowing

If I disappear, this is what I’d love to leave behind.

If I’m here for a while, I’d like to keep this somewhere to remind me.

I’ll update this post as I know more.

There’s a difference between accepting and knowing a truth

Every now and then I come across a difficult truth that I can find a way to accept.

Here are some truths of that flavour:

  • Your worthiness is not dependent on others’ abilities to express it
  • Even if you got nothing productive done today, life would go on
  • They were doing the best they could at the time

But accepting a truth isn’t the same as knowing it. Believing it, operating from it, letting it shape your actions and words.

When you come across some knowledge that you want to truly internalise, do the work to make it happen:

Search for and give yourself the evidence of it.

Orchestrate and enjoy the experiences that will shift your perspective.

Be around and soak in the stories that open yourself to the possibility.

It’s probably simpler than it looks

Try and think of a project that you loved, that made you feel joyful. Was it simple or complicated?

Try and think of a project that terrified you or made you feel angry. Was it simple or complicated?

Complicating things is our way of exerting control…because if we’re in control then we’re safe.

The bad news is we can’t control everything. The good news is we can control whether or not we take a step forward anyway.

It’s better to plan from a place of kindness

We’re not good at time estimation so build in buffer, especially if you’ve never done a task.

Your future self is not superhuman so don’t expect them to do more than you could last week.

3 tasks planned and 5 tasks finished will feel like a great day.
10 tasks planned and 5 tasks finished will feel like failure.
Give yourself the gift of a great day.

The thing you’re blocked on is the thing you need to work on

What you avoid, you’re stuck with. A lesson you haven’t learned will come back over and over again until you’ve learned it.

Instead of doing the work to unblock an issue, we move on to the next shiny thing, the easier thing, the Hail Mary opportunity, the next thing that might save us.

There will be no miracles. The thing that will save us is the thing we’ve always had to do but we’ve avoided, the thing that hides so well in the busyness of life, the thing we can barely see most of the time but consumes us when we see it.

So face it. Do the obvious thing. The thing you’re avoiding.

For some of us, courage isn’t in the big moves but in the everyday doing.

Your path is not your own

Our journeys are co-created by our fellow travellers.

(Even a hermit in a cave probably remembers what his high school friends thought of him.)

Be around good people. And talk to them. They’ll protect you from yourself.

Find people who walk ahead of you to look up to.

Guide people who are behind you.

You can know what you do

This one is for my self-employed friends

Have the humility to develop a clear answer on this because if you don’t know, the people you could be serving can’t know either.

So if you don’t know and you’ve thought about it for ages and you’re still coming up dry, just pick your greatest contribution – the biggest bang for your buck in terms of skills.

Become known for that for now. Refine it until you have a clear 1-3 service offerings. Let it drive your economic engine. Let it give you safety and options. Let it unblock your ability to help others.

You can always change to your true calling if it happens upon you later.

Action will bring you the clarity that thinking never can.

Photo by Kid Circus on Unsplash

You can price yourself

This one is for my self-employed friends

There are so many ways to do this.

Here’s one. I don’t even mind if it doesn’t work for you, so long as you pick something. Give yourself the gift of having a number that doesn’t change.

Imagine the best version of you. What does their day-to-day living budget look like to support the lifestyle and work that they do?

Reverse engineer a day or hourly rate based on that and make that your basement price

Don’t settle for less. You’re putting your highest self to work. Don’t let her be weighed by resentment.

And when you say no, you’re telling yourself and the universe that you trust the right thing will come.

(Can’t stomach it? Do an in-between budget. If best version is too far away, go with version 1.1)

Selling is part of your job

This one is for my self-employed friends

Our job is to sell our services and deliver our services.

And while you’re not in a position to hand over either one to someone else, we have to face facts: selling is our job.

If you don’t like that job, you can always join a consultancy or an agency.

Do what it takes to learn that you’re worthy and to unlearn that you’re unworthy. (See also: The thing your blocked on is the thing you need to work on above)

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Originally published 17 Jan 2021